I tested for my 3rd degree...

I tested at Spring Nationals recently for my 3rd degree black belt. It was the absolute most nerve wracking testing I've EVER had. I thought my 2nd degree was rough. My 2nd degree I tested at a regional testing, and was terrified about my boards. Also, the same day, my good friend Junior walked in and said he had just been in a motorcycle accident. My brain was everywhere that day. But I did it, after having to try 3 times to break my jump reverse side kick. I thankfully got it on my 3rd try.

I never thought I'd have a testing where I was more nervous than that. I've been a second degree for a while... the standard wait is 2 years before you are elegible to test for your 3rd degree. Well, I've been a 2nd degree since this time in 2005. Yeah... it's been long over due. However, 2 of those years I was pregnant, cut a girl some slack ;-)

So, I decided to test at Nationals this year. I have lost a significant amount of weight since having Ethan (although I'm not done!) and I've been going to class and working out. I felt ready. Well, the morning was a whirlwind of crazy, I had missed the meeting where they basically tell you what to do. I ended up going to the wrong spot when I was called, I hadn't had time to put my hair in a pony tail because I was tending to children and my gear and getting my shoes off... I thought I had plenty of time to put my hair up, but I had gotten called in the first group! Ugh! So I get up and realize that I didn't put my hair up. It was all in my face, I looked like one of those stupid emo 16 year olds with the hair all in their face... so embarassing. In front of a table of 15+ masters! So I was distracted by that, My belt was coming undone the second I started my form, the whole thing was just off. I was so distracted by everythng else that I wasn't even paying attention to my form. I just hit auto pilot and my muscle memory took over. It was probably the worst form I've EVER done. EVER. I was so embarassed. I walked off the mats and just burst into tears. I was weaning Ethan off of breastfeeding at the time, and my hormones were all over the place. I had already burst into tears 15 minutes earlier when apologizing to our friend Marjorie for missing her wedding the previous fall. I had developed mastitis and Bobby had just had his surgery, we were both in no shape to go and I have felt awful ever since. Anyway, she must have thought I was a total nut job. Stupid hormones.

We sparred next, which I felt I did pretty well with. Bobby then told me the things that I should have done, and there I go, crying AGAIN because I had felt so good about it, then he tells me I should have done X Y and Z. So frustrating. I'm so used to being good at everything I do. I've always just been a natural talent. I'm not saying I'm the best, because I'm far from it, but I've always done really well with anything I've ever done. So when things don't go my way, it really bothers me. I'm used to being pretty darn close to perfect. So again, more tears. I hate hormones. Especially these post pregnancy, post weaning breastfeeding hormones. UGH.

Next up was board breaks. This was the only part of testing that I was really worried about. In all honesty, boards have always been this terrible mental game with me. I know I can break them. I just don't want it to hurt. I also know it's not going to hurt if I just break through it the first time, and that it WILL hurt if I don't. Yup, I know... save the lecture... However, I smashed the crap out of these boards first try. Thankfully, since the

Results can take up to 30 days to come back to your instructor...

I had so many people there to support me, and I honestly feel so terrible like I let them down. One of my great Tiny Tigers and his dad made the long drive all the way down just to see me. Karla and P.Rez got up super early just to get down there (and we know that was a big deal for them. Hey it's VEGAS. I know they don't like getting up early lol). Taryn and Alex got there that early just to watch me. Not to mention Lisa and Noah came ALL the way down there THAT early in the morning (and we KNOW that NEITHER of them get up at the butt crack of dawn for much of ANYTHING) just to see me test. I feel like I failed them all. I know I can be so much better. I know I AM so much better than what I did that morning. Of all days to have those kinds of mess ups, it had to be that one. I just don't understand it. Oh well.

The rest of the day was pretty laid back. Bobby competed and did alright. His sparring match was... well... the video speaks for itself. He started doing his form backwards at one point... and he started laughing once he realized it. Oh Bobby... Weapons I think he got... 2nd or 3rd? I can't even remember. How terrible am I? I was chasing after Lilly half the time, Ethan crying the other half... That's my excuse and I'm sticking to it. We had a lot of kids go compete and we are so pleased with how well our students are doing in competition this year. We got to see people that we haven't seen in a long time, convinced a few people start coming back and kick with us again, and got to share some laughs with some really good people. All in all, it was a good weekend.